"The past four years had been quite a ride for me. Left teaching to write for _________. Was diagnosed (or misdiagnosed) as having bipolar disorder three years ago, then diagnosed as having major depression by another Psychiatrist. I never thought that I am going to live in _______ but here I am, renting a small condo unit along _________. avenue. Now I feel like I am one of your characters in your Cubao anthologies.
"But every time I look at myself in the mirror, I have a feeling that I am losing myself. I follow you on Google plus because your words of wisdom somehow remind me of my life before.
"You encouraged me some years back that I leave my environment because it is the cause of my emotional distress. But even if my work is physically and emotionally demanding (I am actually experiencing some pain and my BP is going up), it is also financially satisfying and I am now able to help my parents at home and send my adopted brother to school.
"Yet I also feel that I have to go back to teaching. And enjoy life more… Yes, enjoy life more.
"But I am also anxious. If I leave, will I be able to give to my family what I am capable of providing them now? I still want to write on my own pace. But will it be rewarding?
I hope you can shed light what may happen if I go back to my former life.
"Another thing I want to ask you about is a dream I had months ago. I dreamt I was flying and I saw you on a rooftop. I was trying to land on the rooftop but you were shooing me away like I was a bat or a bird or something.
"Thanks for your time Sir. And thank you in advance for your thoughts on my situation."
My reply:
Hello __________!
Before I retired I was working full time in an office AND teaching part-time at two universities and one college. I suggest that you keep your current job, which provides you well, and satisfy your need to teach on a part-time basis. A teaching job pays well ONLY if you have a Ph.D. You could, alternatively, keep your current job and enroll in graduate school for a Ph.D. After that, you can have your cake and eat it too.
You also need to learn how to relax. You are always tense, and my reading is that you are overly concerned with how people see you and what they think of you. This is because your hidden agenda is to find the ideal partner you have always desired. Know, however, that you will never find such a partner if you are not yourself, or are comfortable with yourself, and equally comfortable showing that to other people.
I was teaching you a valuable lesson in your dream: Never land on the roof. Always land on the ground.
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