This electronic diary is continued on Tony Perez's Electronic Diary (March 15, 2017 - ) at tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook35.blogspot.com.

Forgive for little things. Otherwise you will be made to forgive for big things.

Alkaline drinking water delivery.

Now Aubrey needs to buy a few things for a school project.

Bought three boxes of ice cream from the Sitio Catacutan Magnolia depot: Ube-Caramelized Sugar, Mango-Dark Chocolate, and Mangoes and Cream. Also bought a carton of broccoli juice and will see how the granddaughters will like it.

Finally coordinating with Gallery Frames the pick-up of Sarah's three paintings from my studio. They then need to be properly packed and shipped to Paris.

At Shopwise you always need to take care of two things:

--The cashier will charge you for items that she set aside for herself.
--The bag boy will pocket a small item from your bag.

Back from jalan-jalan and major groceries. Been putting this off for a while. It'd gotten so that I'd come across something in the house and tell myself, "We're running out of that."

Now we have more than enough of everything.

"You wake up./ Suddenly you're in love./"

But I would rather that you fell in love with me long before you fell asleep.

Truth is always greater than any science's or any religion's frames of reference.

As such, truth is not exclusive to any one science or to any one religion.

Two cups black, Robert Timms coffee.

The clouds are nests for dragon's eggs.

Good day, Cubao!

Lunch alone.

A great day to go jalan-jalan and do groceries because everyone is either at school or at work and the city is all MINE!

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

If you need to hear some mild bitchiness to perk you up, watch May the Best House Win on etc. Just finished watching the Sunday marathon.

All of my visitors are pre-scheduled, at least a week in advance, and the time I usually agree to see them is 2:00 PM. From 3:00 PM onward my time is for myself and my family. The rest of the time I am resting, sleeping, writing, or painting.

Please do not show up spontaneously and expect to be let in. It just won't happen.

Your Messenger message:

"...I dreamt I designed two unique bathrooms with very modern see-through fiberglass material . One is colored fuschia -lavander and the other , mint green. Only the exterior stood out in the dream . I didn't see the inside . It is not clear whether I owned the house or not ."


My reply:

Hi __________,

Your dream as recorded is a mere fragment and has no narrative, but, based on what you gave, here is my interpretation:

Your psyche is telling you that you need cleansing at this time: spiritual cleansing (lavender), which can be fully attained only if you let go of a romantic relationship (fuchsia) that continues to haunt your subconscious, and physical cleansing (mint green, or any shade of green, usually representing healing that is needed by the body).

It is possible that you did not see the inside because of the defense mechanism denial, or because, at this time, you do not know what form each cleansing must take.

Regina visited and gave me a ruby tumblestone pendant for my birthday. She also gave me a leg and foot massage, which made me drowsy but energized me after.

She is one of the few witches in the Philippines whose vision and energy are real and reliable. When she looks at my antiques, she tells me about their various histories, all of which are spot on. Some of the most effective items she'd given me in the past are a porcelain, Japanese bishimonten statuette and a copper bangle for protection, and a variety of antique snuff bottles and porcelain bowls. Today she said that my mother's spirit sent her over to give me a healing massage

Some time last year Regina visited Malaysia and brought me, among other things, a bottle of kasturi hitam (black musk oil). I placed the bottle inside my potions cabinet and then planned to take it along with me for a GMA7 interview on gayuma last February--but couldn't find the bottle. This afternoon I told Regina that I'd lost the bottle. She said that a black elemental borrowed it because it was attracted to the oil's black color. She also said, the elemental promised to return it promptly.

After Regina left today I opened the potions cabinet again. Sure enough, the bottle of kasturi hitam was there.

All magical items made of wood must be fed and rubbed with extra virgin coconut oil at least once a year.

Do not get disheartened when someone sells you an allegedly magical item and it turns out to be ineffective or inert.

Bring it to a real mage and he will reprogram and recharge it for you.

No one knows any longer what a Caspar Milquetoast is.

Leave 1/3 of your black coffee in the cup. Let it sit and consume it much later in the day.

The first two things psychosis releases in a person are compulsive speech and compulsive behavior.

The same thing occurs in victims of Alzheimer's disease.

The handsome guy who turns out to be a psycho may provide audiences eye candy but not food for thought. That is why TV is still called the boob tube.

Proactive competition always begins with the necessity to race for something.

It is the open-minded person who can put two and two together.

Many failures in life are due to the inability to see, recognize, and interpret signals.

It is your family that will always rescue you from many a scheming flirt.

Knowing what your family members like is not enough; you also need to know what they do NOT like.

The victorious warrior chooses only one of two things: to marry and live a predictable, normal life or to become a hermit and explore heretofore unknown battlefields.

The condor is a truly awesome power animal.

The branches of trees, in the wind, are like galloping horses.

Love it whenever others disagree with you, as long as you are the intelligent one.

Charity always benefits the receiver and the giver.

The summer heat lays its tired head on my chest.

Everyone needs private, sacred space to just sit and be in.

Sometimes everything goes on hold not for yourself but for the people you love.

Many years ago he paid a weekly magazine to feature him on its cover. Since he had no real talent, however, he became the nobody that he still is today.

Quiet Sunday afternoon. I think I'll sit inside the small loggia and write a bit.

Learned two things today:

1) Filling the roof deck with plants to look like a forest is not appreciated by my granddaughters; they prefer that the roof deck have a lot of clear space.

2) When facebook Friends from other counties message me and ask me to go visit them, they are not making small talk; they are serious.

Aubrey back from her senior prom. The students stayed overnight at the hotel a la Prom Night minus the serial killer. They'd had lunch already.

Lunch with Angelique.

Watered the plants. Most therapeutic.

The problem with most students of magic is that they blindly gravitate toward teachers who are big failures in life.

An authentic teacher of magic must first be successful in life, and only after that in magic.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun kisses a little girl's sparkly hair clip.

Watched the replay of Public Enemies on HBO because I am a Johnny Depp fan. Aside from Johnny Depp, toward whom I am biased, the success of the film hinged on superb editing.

The editing actually reminded me of Alfred Hitchcock's works.

A single act of kindness changes a person's life and future indelibly.

Computers can perfect its renditions of lines, colors, shapes, musical notes, and sounds.

Only the human brain, however, can perfect language and its wide range of nuances.

That is why Google Translate--and other such attempts--can never give us true literature.

What happens when a TV station increases its commercial time?

Everyone hops on to other channels.

Our family dentist's associate passed away. So sad. I recall that she used to stand in for our family dentist whenever our family dentist was not available. I also recall that, some time last year, before the associate fell ill and was hospitalized, I gave our family dentist a necklace of antique, chevron beads and the associate looked on wistfully. I was secretly embarrassed and wished that I'd brought something for the associate as well. Now it's too late, and it's another lesson that we should make others happy whenever we can, or that, whenever we pass on an opportunity to make someone happy, the opportunity never comes again.

Our family dentist went to their hometown to attend the funeral and came back only yesterday morning.

Wearing cologne spray by Pierre Cardin of Bullport, New York.

My Art S. Buck Artist's Mannequins Inside A Glass Cloche

Placed my pair of Art S. Buck artist's mannequins inside another glass cloche.

The rain drops ladders we can climb from the earth to the sky.

Good day, Cubao!

A crazy day. Could it be because I'm wearing my Crazy Jack T-shirt?

Chito, Chevy, and Vinci arrived before I woke up. They rang the antique, Maranao bell in the small loggia. I did hear it, but it was incorporated in a dream.

Bought lunch for Aubrey, who left soon after for their senior prom at a hotel. Gave her money to make her feel confident and secure.

Chito, Chevy, Vinci, and I went to the center. Had lunch and brought Chito to the dentist. Ice cream snack, a banana split and a Toblerone and choco chips blizzard.

Now back home and waiting for Angelique to come home from university.

Now on page 187 of the book on Thai magic. This section is on magical tattoos. Thai mages prefer tattooing to wearing inscribed vestments.

Punish only the guilty and not the people who surround him.

A bowl of ice cream never fails to heal an acidic stomach.

The twin raised by warriors and the twin raised by amazons were never excluded from the company of boys, girls, men, and women, though that is the impression the story gives.

The werewolves meet in spirit even when the moon is not full.

You cannot wait for memories to come back and become reality all over again.

Let the house stir and stretch and creak like a giant shifting in his sleep.

When you go to the beach, you need not step in the water. Merely sitting near the water can heal you.

A house without an altar is a place without a spiritual spine.

Altar rituals must be performed twice a day--once in the morning and once in the evening.

Gnomes like residing in the spaces under beds.

Sometimes it is when you stop chasing something that it willingly comes to you.

Your cup runneth over when the person pouring has bad reflexes.

Errata are the stuff of new ideas.

Like playing music and painting with watercolors, maintaining a relationship is the art of good and proper timing.

She was a stunning beauty when we were in graduate school. When I recently visited her page, she looked like the Wicked Witch of the West, and I thought she was the perfect illustration of the fact that all beauty is transient.

Recognize the inner child in everyone, keeping in mind that it looks nothing like its adult version.

Do you remember the time when fundamentalists insisted that dinosaurs did not exist?

Lust, or excess sex energy, is best merged with painting and writing, but is best compartmentalized from everything else.

You are unable to sleep because your body is uncomfortable but you don't know it.

1) Lie in a FETAL position.
2) VERY SLOWLY allow your body to unfold. Do NOT lead it. It will stop unfolding on its own at the position it wants to sleep in.

Parenthood is the art of expecting the unexpected, and of selflessly keeping your cool no matter what.

It is impossible to put a true artist down. His works will always defeat you.

Practice magic individually rather than in groups, for in groups, the stronger members will absorb your energy.

Always listen to the wind, for it is well-traveled, experienced, and tells the most interesting stories.

Fundamentalists turn their backs on new ideas because they are really afraid of being swayed by reason.

Tony Perez's Art of War:The hardest blow to your enemies is when they discover that, despite their criticisms, you are so much better off than they are in life.

A garden plant, when neglected like a weed, perishes.

A weed, when cosseted like a garden plant, also perishes.

Cold breezes always precede the news.

Dry leaves riding on the wind are like paper boats being borne by gutter water.

Both are images of memories of the past.

Tony Perez's Art of War: There are only two steps for an artist to succeed and conquer the world:

First, know that you are right.

Then proceed against all odds.

Tony Perez's Art of War: When people go out of their way to disagree with you, it is a sign that they are trying to be in control of you but are miserably failing.

Rejoice whenever you see things differently than other people do. It means that you are ten cuts above the rest.

Two cups black, Robert Timms coffee, and my Friday morning is complete.

Dragon pens are like expensive chocolate. I just can't have enough.

Wearing Charlie Blue by Revlon of London.

Morning Delight

A new dragon fountain pen arrives. Now I have six (one of them is actually a Dionysos pen).

This one's a black dragon with beady, red rhinestone eyes!

For writing dark spells?

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun blazes on the nib of a fountain pen.

Always give your children a regular allowance that is more than what they need, whether they have classes or not. It makes them stop dreaming about being able to save money in the future, when they have jobs, and teaches them to save up for what they want NOW.

I still have 30 DVDs in our DVD library that I haven't screened!

Still planning to view in special sessions, among others:

--The Bourne Trilogy
--The James Bond Collection
--The Greek Mythology Set
--The Harry Potter Series

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Angelique and J. are studying for their exams at a coffee shop.

Placed the Balinese sandstone statues that June gave me as a gift inside a big, glass cloche in the studio den.

Wearing Charlie Blue by Revlon of London.

Your Messenger message:

"Good afternoon, Sir Tony. I came across a new sleep experience...today. I was having a bad dream when I knew that it was just a dream so I decided to snap out of it and wake up. I thought I did, at first, but later on realized my dream continued but it changed course. I will try to remember the entire dream as I write to you.

"March 08,2017 "I dreamed about mostly involving calendars. I was in a building when there was someone who saw a part of the eye bleeding. They were trying to cut and cleanse it but nothing happens. Nobody was in pain except that they knew, in the end, it was actually me. So they decided to sacrifice themselves in order to oust me. Luckily, the leader tbought differently. I was spared. In a building, I was robbing these calendars and carefully placing them in places where the owner can't find them. The owner has already had a hunch about me trying to steal them so I decided when I took each, piece by piece, I would place them in places that are obvious enough that they will not care to search them there. But, I was wrong. One girl saw right through me and found it in a blink of an eye before even the owner managed to set foot back in his office. I can't remember so well anythicng after that. "I was in a wedding. I dressed so well. It was a sunset wedding, I dreamed of something of no particular importance, after that. "During nap, I dreamed of something peculiar. I was at our helper's house when I asked for fruits before I left. I specifically asked for wintermelon. She gave me wintermelon and a bonus of one big papaya. Other visitors asked for it, too, after seeing her give me some. "I was somewhat in a veranda when I saw a girl being pinned down by two other persons and made to stretch her legs. I was watching but I was not sympatgetic. She wasn't harmed anyway. I was busy enjoying having fun, instead, with a certain guy (handsome but someome I do not know of) in the corner when my mom snapped and was furious. A video on the phone was emitting great negative energy, and it had been haunting us since. It turned out to be one specific girl. One has to have a chalk on his hand and jump from a reasonable height in order to restrain her from following you. I do not know the reason why we are keeping our distance from her. We just knew that it was the right thing to do. But, she just has too many followers. One was particularly jealous because I was with a guy who has the key to solving all these. The key is to find the black ring to eliminate them. The girl found me before that. We were in a ship in a middle of the sea when I attempted to go downstairs where it met the ocean. The guy was trying to follow me but was blocked by the jealous girl. Just a bit later, she threw the whole detachable staircase into the ocean where I was seated. I snapped out of the dream because I knew it was just a dream. I just had to wake up from it. The dream changed course. But I have not woken up from my sleep, though. I just managed to change it. Now my dream went back to when I was with my sister. We were canvassing for some fresh ingredients in the market. Then, I woke up. Strange.
My reply:

Hi ____________!

Your dream is in four parts, each part meaning one and the same thing.

As in your previous dreams, you are the other characters in the dream: the person with the bleeding eye (your difficulty to really see yourself and others), the girl who saw through your scheme (your conscience), the girl being pinned down (your desire for freedom), your mother (also your conscience), the girl in the video (the mistakes you made in the past that are always haunting you), and your sister (your wish to live a normal, peaceful, and happy life).

Did you by any chance watch the HBO replay of One Missed Call: Final before you had the dream? It has the same leitmotif, which is being summoned by fate and karma and deciding whether to pass on the negative energy to someone else or not.

You want to be too many persons simultaneously, and you want to cheat time before it catches up with you. This prevents you from perceiving yourself correctly, which results in your frequent inability to perceive and assess others.

I dreamt of a former supervisor. I think that he is now very ill.

I have an obsessive-compulsive quirk. Whenever I give the neighbors food in my dishes and they return the dishes the following day, even if they'd washed the dishes I wash them all over again anyway.

Vernissage, March 9, 2017, 2:12 PM

His claim to fame is that I met him one night and purchased something from his novelty stall. I want to meet him again and counsel him toward his development, success, and true fame.

There is always something Twilight Zony about someone sending me a Friend Request and I reply, "I can take you in, but I have to unFriend someone first."

Lunch at home with Angelique. She has no university classes today but must go and attend to something in the city.

As soon as I am home alone I will commence varnishing Sarah's portrait.

Your leader is a paranoid schizophrenic, and cannot stand anything that bears his rival's name.

Look at all of those atchays trying to shoot her down.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a steel basket of crispy fries.

Adelaide

Many years ago, when the Cultural Affairs Section and the Thomas Jefferson Information Center were still located at 395 Buendia Avenue, Makati, the Australian Embassy endowed me with a grant to represent the Philippines at the Melbourne International Writers Festival. The trip was the equivalent of the U.S. Embassy's International Visitor Grant and entailed attending writers' events in Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra, Adelaide, and Brisbane.

All of my Australian relatives were--and still are--in Sydney, yet, one of the most memorable states, for me, is Adelaide. At the time I visited, the place reminded me so much of the 1950s. There were neighborhood billiard parlors and shops with huge, glass panes on the sidewalks. Most of the houses had gardens. I especially remember the fragrant, orange trees. During one of the official functions there I was approached by a middle-aged woman who very kindly invited me to an annual dinner party/celebration at her house. As soon as I got there I quickly learned that the event had nothing to do with writers or writing. The dinner, though, was superb; it was the first time I ever tasted dwarf pumpkins. For dessert the guests--there must have been only seven of us--were given marijuana brownies wrapped in cellophane.

Every guest, in accordance with this yearly ritual, brought something for our hostess and her female partner. Most of the guests brought food, but, since I had nothing of the sort to bring, single-rooming in a hotel and all, I gave the hostess a big, fluorite crystal terminator, which delighted everyone so much that one of the guests even attempted to pocket it during the course of the party.

After dinner the hostess and her partner brought me to their bedroom. The hostess then opened her armoire and proceeded to take out her set of SM paraphernalia: a whip, chains, ball gags, nylon rope, a mask, you name it, she had it. She attempted to tease me by hitting me softly with a small, leather pouch that looked like a miniature punch bag. As it turned out, she was a madame who made money on the side performing specialized sex for tourists. I quickly explained that I was not into that kind of thing, and she also quickly apologized, saying over and over again, "I didn't mean to distress you!" Apparently, when she saw me at the writers' event earlier that day, she zoomed in on me because I was wearing my silver gauntlet shaped like hand bones studded with spikes and thought that I was a likely customer.

The hostess had two teenage children, a boy and a girl, who were not only very friendly but very beautiful and seemed to have no qualms about anything. It was my impression that the boy had an older, male lover, whom everyone constantly referred to in several conversations. That boy and that girl must be in their mid-30s now.

I was not shocked, and certainly not distressed, by this episode. As a matter of fact I still think that the hostess and her guests were some of the most interesting Australians I'd ever met. A week after I returned to the Philippines, the hostess wrote me a letter, wishing me well and informing me of things that transpired in her neighborhood after I left. I reciprocated with an equally friendly letter, but that was the last we ever heard from each other.

A cozy Wednesday evening. I might even snuggle in bed and reread a Judge Dee book later tonight.

Angelique had a free ride on the LRT2 coming home from university this afternoon, because of International Women's Day. J. was with her, though, and had to pay for his ride.

She is a blessing to this country. We need more people like her.

Paid off the LAST monthly bill for Aubrey's school bus service, because she graduates at the end of this month.

I am finally free of school bus service fees!

Never give in to pushy people. They deserve to be frustrated all throughout their lives. Revel in the pleasure of doing things your way, not theirs.

How can you have been made to feel so self-important yet placed on a planet that has so much war and suffering and religious hysteria and danger?

Honor Nature and Nature will honor you.

Never sell to a person who is looking out for a bargain. The measly money and the measly friendship are not worth your time and your energy.

Just take the item away and say, "I'm sorry, I changed my mind. I don't want to sell after all."

Always make your house a wonderful place to come home to.

Ask yourself several times during the day whether or not you are being seduced by someone or something.

Two cups black, Robert Timms coffee.

When you switch to a beautiful trash can, everything becomes so much cleaner.

A dying person has neither the physical strength nor the mental agility to clean up behind him.

Clean up NOW.

Life is not only the biggest miracle, it is also the biggest responsibility and the first requirement for salvation.

Discovered a long swath of ecru cotton in my art supplies cabinet. I thought at first that I'd set it aside to use as a support in lieu of canvas, then suddenly realized that it is for draping models as angels and as semi-nudes.

Music flows like water, spins like air, and leaps like fire. Only earth can ground it.

Never give up, and never grow bitter.

The men at the bottom bear the heaviest load.

Many brilliant people tend to take their brilliance for granted.

A day of neglect can cause a week of regret.

The worst advice can come from the most conservative people, because they live restricted lives and don't really know what life is all about.

Aubrey came home from school but had to leave again to buy shoes for her graduation ceremony. Shoes with heels are required.

Bought three more boxes of ice cream from the Sitio Catacutan Magnolia Depot: Classic Mango, Mango-Dark Chocolate, and Avocado-Peanut Butter.

Back from the center.

Lunch with my son Chito, then had distance/reading lenses refracted for him and bought him a new pair of glasses, bought a Thermos mug for him at Rustan's, and then we had ice cream.

To get rid of unwanted stuff, first get rid of the cabinets and containers you placed them in.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is filled with old photographs.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Also bought two kilos of ripe mango, washed them, and placed them in the ref. I am always the last customer at the closing ceremonies of the Sitio Catacutan fruit stand before they shut down for the night, and I am usually given a good deal by the couple who own the stand.

Watched the replay of the Chinese movie The Whisper on HBO. Interesting, but the ending was VERY downbeat.

Whenever you are dreaming make choices within each dream--one after another.

After writing down your dreams, study the choices you make in them, for they are reflective of the choices--right or wrong--that you make in your waking life.

What was the most crucial choice you made in every dream?

Your Messenger message:

"sir Tony magandang araw po. may nagpapatanong po na katrabaho ko patungkol po sa kanyang panaginip. ito po yung sinabi niya -

"Sa panaginip ko, nawawala ang asawa ko for 3 days. Hinahanap ko siya nireport ko na sa pulis hanggang sa sinabi ko na sa daddy ko na nawawala na siya for 3days. After that, may nagbalita sa amin na may nakita na bangkay ng isang lalaki. Umiyak na ako ng umiyak. Nakita ko na sa bangkay na naagnas na siya. May damo na green na green. Nakatihaya na lang siya.. tapos suot na nang bangkay yung polo ng asawa ko na checkered. Hindi naman naconfirm sa panaginip ko na siya yun. Nag assume ako nang magising ako."

"maraming salamat po"


My reply:

Hello ______!

The dreamer's husband is currently undergoing a major change in his life, entailing an overhaul of values and perhaps the risk of living a different lifestyle. It is an anxiety dream insofar as the dreamer fears losing her husband because of this change.

My advice to the dreamer follows:

1) Do not over-control your spouse. He needs space in order to be creative and progressive.

2) If you love your husband, adapt to the change he is undergoing, while remaining communicative, as a form of being supportive.

3) You need to be sensitive to what your husband feels and wants, and these may not necessarily conform to your expectations.

4) Explore your husband's real self--what he showed you before and after he married you and what he wants to be now. Sometimes, when the honeymoon is over (and even years after that) a woman realizes that she did not marry the man she thought she did.

It is the heat that wakes me up every morning.

Now on page 144 of the book on Thai magic. This section is on protective dress. Note the tabards, called chalecos in the Philippines.

There are many similarities between Thai magic and the Philippine Haring Bakal magical system.

"But all is changed with time/
The future none can see/
The road you leave behind/ 
Ahead lies mystery/"

--Stevie Wonder

June visits and gives me three exotic figurines: a bronze Bodhisattva head from Indonesia and a Balinese man and woman in love cast in bonded white sand (by Balinese artist Wayan Kandiyasa of Singapadu).

I gave him four more art books, these on anatomy and drawing the human figure.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a swordsmith's forge.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Also gave M.'s cafe waiters Michael and Jerome two T-shirts each from my kept and unworn collection. Chose the reds and maroons because of their uniforms.

It is quite strange. Whenever an artist sketches or paints a model in the nude, the next time they meet they see each other as though they had sex and not a sketching/painting session.

Aubrey bought her much-vaunted shoes after school this afternoon.

Now Angelique and one classmate are home from university and waiting for another classmate to arrive.

When I was young I also used to collect shoes, mostly boots, and going to parties was always an exciting adventure.

Today I have no interest in either one.

An artist never throws in the towel.

Your Messenger message:

"Sir Tony, I dreamt of you. We were somewhere, im not sure if it's ur house although it didn't look like your house (as I know it). You were wearing blue and smoking one stick after the other. Then suddenly you laid down a wooden cleopatra style seater, then I went and sit down beside you. Then you were telling me something but it looks like you've lost control of your facial muscles. Para pong na bels palsy your mouth, it was semi permanently askew. Then your having some motor skills problem with your hands, it was shaking hard like someone with parkinsons or something. Then You were still trying to smoke one cig, then I said: "sir tony, you're already getting alarmingly thin!" I held your legs, and tried to show you. Then I said tearfully and forcefully, you need to stop, what happened to Daddy is happening to you. Then I woke up."

My reply:

Hi ______!

You don't need to be alarmed by your dream--it is a transference dream. The memory of your father, who suffered and passed away last year, encroaches upon your subconscious because, as your wedding day approaches, you sincerely wish that he could be there to give you away.

It is a transference dream because you and _____ have always looked upon me as a father. I am ill in the dream because you secretly wish that I should have died instead of your real father. (No worries, this is normal.)

I will be there at your wedding, not to give you away but to be the sponsor you designated me to be. If it is any consolation to you, the only other weddings I intend to attend are those of my grandchildren.

Oh, and maybe I should mention that your father will be there anyway.

Back from the center. Predictably, with my fourth box of _____.

No one person can make you completely happy, because everyone, like a diamond, is multifaceted and sparkles because of more than one source of light.

A lot more people die sad than happy, because dreams seldom become reality.

Absence of closure is one reason behind reincarnation.

Granddaughters in school. Home alone again. I think I'll have leftovers in the ref for lunch.

Must go to the center to pay our wi-fi bill and probably pick up a box of _____.

Then later tonight Angelique is going to a party with two of her classmates, who are sleeping over after the party.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are bowls of uncooked rice.

I. Must. Have. That. Antique. Or. Else.

An antique dealer arrived to show me photos.

Lunch with Angelique and Aubrey.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are bristol-paper pinwheels.

Still watching all those replays of The Curse of Oak Island on History. I'm always imagining that I'm one of the treasure hunters.

I was, as a matter of fact, holding my glass box containing three precious artifacts as I was watching tonight's episode.

Now on page 115 of the book on Thai magic. This section is on dress and textiles.

The granddaughters are back from Aubrey's K-12, seniors' recollection. Now that Aubrey is done with her final exams, she and her co-seniors have nothing more to do but rehearse for their graduation ceremony.

Walked to the Sitio Catacutan laundry because the boy who picked up our comforters and bed linen resigned to take on a better job, and I had to go there and identify the items.

Actually there are birds of a feather that do not flock together.

Money is money, and time is money. Spend both only on your family.

Artists who refuse to be hermits have a terrific dread of not being seen by other people.

Whenever he is in the northern lowlands he thinks of me, but he knows not how to get in touch with me.

A service might not as well exist if it is incomplete.

Fundamentalists and the self-righteous can change some people, but never the entire world.

Revision will always bring you closer to perfection.

Learn to scoff at the promotional gimmicks of producers, publishers, gallery owners, festival organizers, and award-giving bodies, because you remain an artist, and the world, unchanged, even if all of them dropped dead at the same time.

The sky is strewn with confectioner's sugar.

Good noon, Cubao!

Woke up 11:45 AM and hit the day running. Got lunch ready for Aubrey, who must be in school for their K-12, seniors' recollection.

Managed to do all the things I had to do, and now having two cups black, Robert Timms coffee.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Yes, a midnight snack.

How can I NOT NOT watch the Oscars when HBO keeps replaying the event with such eclat?

The more I watch it, the more I am perplexed as to why there have to be scapegoats and sacrificial lambs for the mix-up.

So what if people made mistakes? Don't we do that everywhere?

Your Messenger message:

"Good evening , Tony !
"A few nights ago , I dreamt I was walking on multi-colored soil that was like a beautifully - designed flooring . There was an unidentifiable friend whom I was having a conversation with . I was aware that there was a door and that I was telling my male friend to hurry up with what he needed to do . I could no longer remember the rest of the dream. The beautiful soil was what struck me most .

"I will appreciate your interpreting my dream and will not mind your posting it on your Timeline . I know you will keep my identity a secret . Thank you ."

My reply:

Hello ______________!

In many of my workshops I conduct a visualization exercise in which the participants enter a forest and observe everything inside it, especially what they are treading on.

The colors on the soil you are walking on in your dream are the colors of all of the chakras that shone and created patterns in your previous lifetimes. Hence, this is a summary dream. The friend who accompanies you is your spirit guide--apparently he was also your guide in several of your previous lifetimes.

The door represents the end of a present journey. You were not allowed to see it because your journey has not yet ended, and, despite your hurrying along your spirit guide, you may still have a long way to go.

If you can remember the patterns in your dream, try to represent them in art, as in, for example, Tibetan thangkas. You might find unexpected satisfaction and fulfillment in this type of spiritual art.

Your Messenger message:

"Hi po! Good evening. My name's ____/____, we haven't met but I have been reading your dream posts, and lately most of your posts that I come across. I am a member of the Oracle group and we're also connected in FB. I am hoping to seek advise on two dreams I had recently. One last week and the other just early this week. If it's okay with you.. "The first one: "This one's like a dream within a dream. I 'woke' up realizing I fell asleep in the ofc in my chair. it was dark--pitch black. I was turning because my chair was being turned (it's a swivel office chair) by someone or something. I was scared, and I cannot wake up. I used to experience this when I was younger and I'd pray then sleep. so I started praying. Hail Mary was my go-to prayer. But I stopped, not consciously because something was off. but something was off and I had to wake up. Then some light started to 'grow' and I realized I was not in the office. I was in our room (I shared the bedroom with a sister). I fell asleep that morning with my tablet being charged so there was a led light blinking. That was the light I was 'seeing'. I still had to force myself awake. I woke up, still scared, and maybe a couple of seconds later my towel dropped--we hung our towels along a window beside my bed and I forgot to hang it properly that morning. It added to my fear but I guess that's just coincidental. "second dream (this week): "A tita who underwent chemo last year was there, I went into a room, she was on the bed -- the room had the feel of our childhood home's parents' room. She asked me to light a candle on a table. I think it was sunset. But I seem to have lost or dropped or wet the matches, with just one or two sticks remaining. I lit one and was able light the candle, but when I blew the matchstick to put it off--and I did turn away from the candle while I did this--the air went and also blew off the candle's fire. I can't remember my aunt's reaction, or maybe I just didn't wait for it. I ran outside because I remembered having a lighter in my bag. I went for it and came back to the room. she wasn't there so I picked the candle up. but it wasn't a candle? **this is the part that bothered me, but I cannot remember it properly, so sorry! i'll try to describe the feeling** it was black--it had an occult feel that bothered me (not really scared, maybe a bit). it wasn't cylindrical like your normal candle. oddly shaped. when I picked it up there was some sort of coating (~2mm thick, which was the black thing); soft-ish, not too slippery. but part of it slid off. I can't remember what's inside, maybe also because I wasn't able to identify it. what I can think of are hands, 2, but not real human hands--but I could be wrong. i think the shape was like 2 hands side by side, like the pic i attached, up to the base of the hands, and it's coating was black. "that's it po. I want to apologise of masyadong pong magulo. and THANK YOU for the time! "p.s. i actually have a dream from maybe about 10 yrs ago, i'll recall and try to write about it hopefully next time. "many thanks, "____"


Hello ____!

At this time in your life you need grounding. You are on a swivel chair being controlled by someone or something, not by yourself. Your lack of grounding renders you indecisive and unable to make practical decisions. This is true both at work and at home, hence the dream straddles both settings. You are anxious that your present state of affairs will go further out of control and that it will overwhelm you. The tablet in this dream is a metaphor for your self. You must recharge.

The second dream reflects your fear of becoming or ending up like your aunt, for whatever reason. In dreams, having difficulty or being unable to light a candle with a matchstick represents the anxiety one has when one feels that she has only one big opportunity, and that she is terrified of losing it. A portion of this dream has been blocked from your memory because it has something to do not with the occult but with sex, and so your mind censored it.

Because of this second dream I sense that your fantasy, at this time, has something to do with one of the following:

--Fear of being an old maid, an abused wife, or a rape victim
--Attraction toward a man who is married to someone else, who has a mean streak, or who is unable to reciprocate your desires.

My advice to you:

--Never compare your self or your life with those of others, especially relatives.
--If you have been indulging in occult rituals or items such as Tarot cards or talking boards, I suggest that you stop for a while. Such activities make some, but not others, flighty, and you might be one of the former.

I hope these are helpful to you. Do take care and do your best--those two are always good enough.

Dinner with Aubrey at home.

Then, after I'd washed the dishes, Angelique and J. arrived from university and hadn't eaten yet. I ordered sisig and tocilog from M.'s cafe for them.

Just when I thought I had P5,000 to splurge on myself, my granddaughter Aubrey wants a new pair of shoes.

For every neighbor who is happy to see you, there is also a neighbor who is not.

You are able to value your free time only when you spend your other times judiciously.

When a tree's branches grow toward a house rather than away from it, it is because its spirit is protective over one or more members of the household.

That someone has a crush on you is nothing to be proud of, for it is as fleeting as a wispy cloud across the sky,

In urban living, the arrival of bills to pay is as consistent as the sunrise and the sunset.

Lounge like a cat and soak in existence, mortality, and immortality.

No one should ever thirst for love, because drinking of it is never the solution.

He who hides under his blanket forgets to lock the bedroom door.

Do not stop groping for truth until its exact shape is obtained.

Gnome footsteps sound like leaves falling on the ground.

Back from the center. Paid our electric and did groceries. Also bought four more hanging planters.

As for the box of _____, it will be ready tomorrow. The salesman very kindly ordered three more for me, and so I might have four more.

Quite tedious. I have to go to the center again and buy another box of _____. Must do some groceries too, and I thought that I could stay home on a peaceful Friday.

I'm just so glad that I've finished Sarah's portrait and am waiting for it to dry completely before I apply gloss varnish.

There is boundless love even in the person who has boundless anger.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is an unlocked front door.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

I must have gotten starved just watching the successive replays of Master Chef Australia on Lifetime and My Kitchen Rules U.S.A. on DIVA. But I also rise at 11:00 AM and have black coffee instead of breakfast, and so this is literally my third meal of the day.

M.'s cafe is open even at this hour (past 2:00 AM). I saw waiter Jerome cross the street with me and give two containers of food to the bag lady who always wanders P. Tuazon Boulevard. That seems to be the cafe's regular act of charity.

When you consult me about anything, I post it and my reply, minus your identity, on facebook and on Google+. When you request that I not post it, I don't reply at all.

Back from the center. Bought two new goblets and four, tall beer glasses.

Gentle rain on Cubao. The kind I want to walk in.

The sun is a recharging emergency torch.

Good morning, Cubao!

Slow Thursday, like delicious syrup.

Now on page 100 of the book on Thai Magic. This section is about numbers, planets, and the animals of the Chinese zodiac.

Thinking of what I should be doing next--writing a novel? Commencing another painting? Knitting?

http://tonyperezphilippines.blogspot.com/2017/03/portrait-of-sarah-c-peck-after-john.html

Wednesday, March 1, 2017, 3:47 PM

Three glazes on table

My cigarette case and lighter at the bottom of the painting shows the scale of the portrait.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017, 3:30 PM

Eighth glaze on gown

Serenity and emptiness of mind, now that I am done with Sarah's portrait. Still, I must revisit it a few days from now and see if it needs finishing touches.

After that, I must cover the portrait with a clean, cotton cloth and wait for the paint to dry.

And then apply three layers of gloss varnish.