Your Messenger message:

"I would like your insight and advice... "I have dreams in life and I think I have enough means to achieve them. But I seem to be so comfortable with this 'struggling' status, that often I subconsciously sabotage myself to success. At my age of pushing forty, I don't feel I have achieved enough. I desperately need to get out of this limbo.

"Have you heard of a Vipassana retreat? I am contemplating on signing up on one.

"So sorry to hassle you

"Im in need of a wise advice"


My reply:

Hello ________!

You like struggling because you not only fear failure and embarrassment, you fear competition as well. They who struggle are never perceived as threats by others, and you find emotional safety and security in this situation. You then sabotage yourself whenever you are close to success in order to avoid the vulnerability and exposure that success brings.

Go ahead and take the retreat. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it.

Reflect on the following also, however:

--Are you not looking for a partner who will dominate you, and is not struggling a form of submission?
--Were you not over-praised and over-complimented for your work when you were younger, so that you now equate struggling with eternal youth?